Righty......these are a load of txt messages or e-mails that go around that I think are funny. None of these are my own!

Im at the police station now. Been
done for drink driving, urine
sample was positive. So I nicked the sample,
they are charging me with taking the piss.

Eircell regrets to inform you that the
network has gone down on everyone but you.
We would further regret to inform you that no-one
would go down on you, not even a network.